do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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