he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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