just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize