I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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