I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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