I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
