You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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