butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
