I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My nipple is on Facebook.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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