A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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