I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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