Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
