it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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