i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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