at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
