Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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