No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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