I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
