The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
