last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
