your parents love me but you hate me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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