google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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