Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
