the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
