He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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