What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
