She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize
