Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
