There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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