Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
