How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
