that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
