Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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