i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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