hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
