Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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