i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
