Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
