There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
