party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
