That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
