lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
