The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
