Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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