drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
