I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
