We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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