I heard we made out
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
