I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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