if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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