I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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