did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
