i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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