he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
