There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
