At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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